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The Boob Journey

So here it is. The boob journey to date. As some of you know, growing up I spent my early teens into my mid 20s battling bulimia. I could easily drop a stone in a week to putting it back on in a week. My weight would\n drop to under 6 and a half stone then push back up to 9 stone over the months. By the time I was 19 the most affected part of the weight loss and gains were my breasts. I looked like I had breast feed 2 children I was told. My insecurities soared and I would never take my top off in front of anyone, always wearing a padded bra and chicken fillets. I had been working a few jobs whilst at college and saved enough to make a decision to get breast augmentation. My boobs were currently a sad saggy 32A/B at the time and I booked myself to see the surgeon. Go big or go home right? If I was gonna do this, I wanted some big boobies to show for it 😂. So I went in and came out a 32E/F and had 435cc implants in each breast. I was over the moon and spent the next 9 years feeling so much better.

My weight had fluctuated massively over those years and this did take a toll on the look of the breasts. However, in 2015 I had began to notice that one of my breasts looked like it was getting bigger. I saw the GP who booked me for a scan which revealed a rupture, explaining why one breast seemed bigger as fluids were leaking out into the breast. It turned out I had the PIP implants and they were famous for their ruptures. Sadly the companies that had used the PIP implants had liquidated so that the company would not be held liable. Legal advise explained that if I had I paid on a credit card that would have insured me but as it was from savings there was nothing I could do. I saw 8 different surgeons regarding the situation and most did not want to perform the replacement as they were unsure of what they may find inside which was really unsettling. A part of me was so anxious that I wanted them fully out and never to have worry about implants again but at the same time my insecurities of having no boobs and just empty sacks left was far overwhelming. Finally I found a surgeon in August 2016 that was happy to take me on and he operated in December 2016.

I wanted the implants removed and smaller ones put in as despite loving the size when I’d had them originally, it now felt right to have smaller implants in. He said if I went too small it would be too much skin left round the implant as they advised against a lift as I haven't had children yet and that can affect breast feeding. He said he would go as small as he could for the best look. When we have implants in, the body forms a natural capsule around the implant to keep it contained in place. The plan was to remove the implants, clear out the capsule and make it smaller for the new implants to sit. He did explain the morning of the surgery that there was a small risk that he may have to remove the implants all together should he find anything unexpected if there was too much damage to the split implant, let me heal then later put the implants back in with another surgery. It was nerve wracking but I understood. The operation took just over 2 hours under general anaesthetic and when I came round I was relieved to be told all had gone better than expected. The ruptured implant was still intact with a small hole that had allowed silicon to move out and body fluids to pass through making the implant yellow compared to the intact implant remaining clear in colour. The surgeon had put a smaller implant (350cc) one side to try and balance out the stretch from the rupture with the skin and the other was a smaller size (300cc).

I rested for 3 weeks then was able to go back to light cardio and then weights after 6 weeks. You must be careful when healing as there is a risk of capsular contractor, this capsule of scar tissue becomes unusually hard and starts to contract around the implant. This can lead to both aesthetic problems and, in extreme cases, pain in the breasts. Fortunately I had no issues and my new breasts looked amazing and I was now down to a 32DD but had been hoping to be smaller but I was happy with how much better they now looked. The next few years my life took a massive turn and my priorities changed. Worrying about whether I was going to be breastfeeding children that I may or may not have was irrelevant in my right now and how im feeling. It’s been on my mind for a long time now and I made an appointment to see that same surgeon. I no longer wanted any implants in. He took a body scan and showed me what my body would look like with no implants and a lift.

It felt like the time was right, I no longer wanted to worry about implants or what people may think if my boobs are no longer big, this is my time to do this. So I booked the surgery and had the op Saturday 13th july.

The surgeon removed my implants and lifted what was left of my natural breasts and moved the nipple up and made the areola smaller to suit the breast. It all went well and I’m recovering quickly, no implant means the healing process is smoother as there is no skin stretched out as no implant in there plus no foreign object for the body to fight. I have to wear the support bra for 6 weeks 23 hours a day and begin with walking for exercise the first few weeks. No heavy lifting for up to 6 weeks which is a bit of a mental challenge as I love weight training but I understood its important for the healing process.

I have to admit the first day after the operation I had a massive freak out at the size difference and that fear of what others may think crept into my head however it’s now been over a week and I feel like the old me but with small boobs.

I am sure there will be times I miss the old size but I feel (so far) much better in myself for my decision. I do not regret my boob journey so far as the original op gave me much more confidence in my 20s but now I feel like my body is back to it’s more natural frame and will suit my lifestyle just as well or perhaps better 💗💗

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